You may be surprised at what an unpleasant person you seem to be. But at least you now know about it, and knowledge is power. "knoew thyself, and that knowledge can set you free."
A point to consider here is that perhaps your spouse is very critical, but wasn't always like that and you regret the change. Is it possible that you provoked this response by your own attitude? We do influence one another like this, especially if we spend a lot of time together and there is an emotional involvement. If someone does something unpleasant, eventually we might react by "getting back at them".This could help you deal with them, but is not absolutely essential. Psychological archaeology is often a time-consuming and unprofitable pursuit. We can work on them without knowing their origin. However, if you pose the question to your subconscious, you will at some stage be aware of "knowing" how you got them, but often not immediately. There are also tools such as EFT which can help speed up this process of treatment considerably.
The advantage of the written lists is that they also serve as a reference point - we can check how well we are progressing - as well as a reminder of what we are trying to achieve. Without a tangible reminder it can be very easy to forget the whole thing and carry on as usual.
(continued from part I)